So I have this friend that told me once, about her marriage: “I feel like I got the broken one.”
I suspect a LOT of people feel this way. They get married and they think they married the “right” one. The one they dreamed about. The one that, all their lives it’s been foretold they will marry. In a sense, it’s the prophesied one.
And then reality sets in, with a harsh dose of disappointment.
I thought of this today in The Lego Movie. Wyldstyle (her real name is Lucy) has heard this prophecy all her life, and she finally meets THE GUY…the one from the prophecy. Except it’s not long before she realizes that he isn’t quite the way the prophecy described him. He’s supposed to be the most talented, most special, most interesting Master Builder there ever was. Except, he’s less talented than she is, less interesting, less capable, less everything. And he’s certainly no Master Builder. Here’s her response: “You’re not special. You’re not even a Master Builder. You ruined the prophecy.”
I wonder how many married people feel this way. “You aren’t what I believed you would be. You ruined the prophecy.” How many people are like my precious friend, wondering how they ended up with “the broken one” instead of “the promised one”?
A pastor friend, Tommy Nelson, used to tell me, “There are three stages to any marriage: the honeymoon, the disappointment, and the commitment.” The honeymoon is a period, not an event. It may be very short lived, like hours, or it may last a year or so, but at some point, every marriage hits the disappointment stage. At some point in every marriage, the rose-colored glasses come off and one or both end up thinking that somehow they ended up with the broken one and the prophecy is ruined. “That’s when real marriage starts”, he used to say. “That’s when real commitment begins. You may think you were committed when you took your vows, but it’s when you face the disappointment that you really commit.”
In The Lego Movie, Emmett had to grow into his role. He was given the title before he was worthy of it. The thing is, he never would have become worthy of it without first being given the title. Someone had to speak to a future (even non-existent) version of him in order for it to ever grow into being. That prophecy was a seed that was planted, and it needed time to grow.
People get married and step into roles that they are ill prepared for. But the titles, husband, wife, mother, father…those are seeds that are planted. Sometimes, like WyldStyle we misunderstand and think that they are those things simply because they have been named such, so when we see that the titles are ill-fitting, (at best), we think they’ve broken something we believed in. Sometimes it just takes time for the seeds to grow. Sometimes it’s not so much broken as in development…both in them, and in us. Because, let’s be honest—none of us has yet to fully become the man or woman God intended when He created us.
So, I encourage you. Let God speak to you. Let Him tell you what He sees in you, in your loved ones, in those around you. Let Him show you the titles He plans to give to you and to them, the gifts and abilities He plans to develop. Believe that He who spoke the worlds into existence is able to do the same in you and me. Know that sometimes, seeds take time. Just because you’ve got the broken one, or you are the broken one, doesn’t mean the prophecy is ruined. Our God is able!